Don’t Schpendit!

Kickstarter and game blogger DavidGaames does a great job of showing how even established companies – not just naïve nobodies – can totally botch a Kickstarter project. Cinemaware, an old school game company, attempted to reboot their Wings series for the original audience’s grandchildren. You can check out the video if you have the time, but as usual it is one of the project’s worst offenses:

I’ll save you nine minutes of your time by providing this quick bullet list of the points David brings up and a few others:

– The video is 9:27 minutes long, which is equivalent to a 5-hour-long feature film. I’m going by the calculation that 1 Internet minute = 30 minutes of normal film time.

– The “host”: She’s got nothing to do with the project. And even if she is cute and busty, Kickstarter projects run on enthusiasm, honesty, and legitimacy. This woman has the first, but that’s about it. Sympathy level, zero. Legitimacy, minus 10,000.

– Random industry experts wishing Cinemaware luck – gee, thanks. Could we meet someone involved in the project?

– Germans?

– Germans talking about how much fun it is to move pieces in Defenders of the Crown?

– As David mentions, no one actually connected with making the film is on the video until the 5:47. Very poor form.

– 8:18 Ha: “this revival of one of the best developers in the world…20 years ago.”

– 8:50 SCHPENDIT FOR CINEMAWARE!

– Germans making jokes about their nipples? (Are these really the only guys they could find?)

In addition to the problems with the video, you can tell that they hadn’t priced out their reward levels well since they went in after project start and added an additional $15 and $80 pledge level with notes IN ALL CAPS SAYING PLEDGE HERE, THIS IS THE RIGHT ONE! Not exactly confidence building.

Possibly the worst decision Cinemaware made was to go with Wings instead of It Came From the Desert, an amazing action/adventure game based on 1950s B-movies; a town in the American Southwest is struck by a meteor and subsequently taken over by giant ants! You must save the town! There were all sorts of great aspects to the game – putting out fires, escaping from the hospital, shooting the antennae off ants, driving tanks around the desert taking out hordes of the bastards! *Sigh* Now THAT was a game.

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